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Mother – There can be no other

Newborn in bed means sex is out?

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This post on CNN would have been hilarious, had it not been written in the serious tone that it was (the headline made my naughty mind immediately think of aMénage à trois” kind of situation). It is indeed tough to think of romance if baby dear sleeps on the same bed as husband and wife, but it is a kind of sacrifice the couple will have to make if they want to avoid crib-related problems like SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and other issues.

There are many cultures around the world, where there is no concept of a separate crib for the baby and most of the time the baby sleeps with the mother on the same bed. I think it has also got something to do with the natural warmness of the mother’s body that the baby had gotten used to while inside and which it wants to continue on the outside.

You see, parenting is all about adjustments, compromises and sacrifices and if sex is something that will have to be put on the back-burner or reserved for stolen moments, however fleeting, for the sake of a child, then it is tough luck, but has to be gone through regardless. After all, there are millions of people out there, battling ticking biological clocks and having other problems preventing them from having a baby, who would gladly trade a year of post-delivery abstinence, if only they could  become mothers (and fathers).



Written by mothersspace

June 8, 2009 at 5:53 pm

Posted in Parenting

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Managing work and pregnancy

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There is an excellent article posted at The Journal Record that discusses the pitfalls and perks of running a small business while being pregnant.

A lot of mothers-to-be who also happen to be working women have this question on whether they should work while they are pregnant or take a well-deserved break (both before delivery and after). I am of the opinion that a woman does not have to take a break from work just because she is carrying a child. My mother was working until the last day of her pregnancy and she used to humorously say that my birth was an accident, actually, due to an accident.

It seems the doctor advised her that the due date was near but she continued to work and on that fateful day (the day I was born :-)), when she was returning from work by the regular bus that she used to go home, the driver had to suddenly apply the brakes due to some problem while driving and this flung my mother who was seated in the last row, to the front of the bus. Immediately she went into labor and within a few hours, I came into this world.

Anyway, my point about women not needing to give up their work is based on many factors. In some families, two incomes are really needed and so even if the woman wanted to take a break, she really can’t. Also anyone who has put in sufficient time in an organization becomes a valuable resource and if a woman were to give up her job solely due to her pregnancy, a productive member is removed from the labor pool, which has ramifications both for the company and for the broader economy and society. Again, work is sometimes a self-fulfilling thing for many women and helps define who they are. Without it, they may get into a depression, what with the morning-sickness and other hormonal imbalances not helping with their mood swings.

Pregnancy is such a routine thing that there is no need for an “extended break” before the child is born, although post-delivery, the new mother certainly has a need to take time off from work to attend on her new-born. With many maternity-friendly employers these days and many women already doing work that can be done from home using computers and telecommunications, a woman can certainly manage her work during pregnancy.

Written by mothersspace

May 28, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Baby Shower Ideas

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I somehow found this blog (only Firefox browser friendly) on “cute baby shower ideas”, well, cute :).  One thing though is that baby showers are probably not practiced across all cultures (I read somewhere that Jewish tradition forbade that) and so if you are a guest to a baby shower, you may want to keep the cultural beliefs of the hosts in mind.

I feel that baby showers are a nice way of heralding the arrival of motherhood for a woman and across cultures, motherhood has always been held up as an elevated status for a woman (a married status being worthier than a single one and so on). So, this ritual is a kind of reinforcement of the importance given to family life in general and in some sense, to women in particular because of the unique biological function that only they are equipped to perform.

Written by mothersspace

May 27, 2009 at 11:56 am

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Baby Feeding Safety Habits

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I found this blogpost particularly useful for new mothers and while not all of it may exactly apply due to cultural differences across countries, yet the basic principles of safety when feeding a baby are the same regardless. The one that I particularly liked was: “NEVER leave the room while your baby is eating.” An advice that any mother would do well to heed.

Written by mothersspace

May 26, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Baby or Bust – In Vitro Fertilization

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Brandi & Shelton Koskie, on the Baby or Bust site, are “one of the many couples going through the long In Vitro Fertilization journey so that they can start their family” and due to the “significant cost”, they are asking each visitor to their site to donate just $1 so that if 20,000 people do so, they will have the funds they need to have their first baby.

I don’t know how many such couples are out there who are holding out hope for their first baby but have to resort to IVF and other such medically-assisted methods of getting pregnant. Even that is not half as bad as not having the funds to do it, like in the above case. Now, that is seriously a double-whammy and I hope they get all the help they can muster through such online efforts.

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May 25, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Dad-to-be and Sympathetic Pregnancy

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Do you know what is the “couvade” syndrome? I didn’t know anything about it until I saw this article in, run by nutrition consultant Kathryn Flynn. It talks about men going through the same pregnancy symptoms as their pregnant wives. I personally think that it is great if a man’s empathy for his pregnant wife’s condition is to such an extent that he “literally” feels her pain and all her symptoms. Perhaps such men are few and rare, but truly remarkable.

Written by mothersspace

May 25, 2009 at 5:11 pm

Power Mom’s New Title – “CEO of Household”

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Being a technophile myself, I could not but help relate to this article on “Power Moms” and the results of the Nielsen Online study on this demographic. What I particularly liked in that article was a term that I saw for the first time to define a Power Mom as “CEO of Household”. That I think perfectly captures the multifarious duties that mothers running households perform and the fact that these are thank-less and pay-less jobs masquerading as mere “chores”.

More women are tech-savvy these days and technology has, to a large extent eased the job of running a household. Social Networking – MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Blogs – have drawn mothers in huge numbers. Moms are all over the place and are able to share helpful parenting tips, recipes, experiences and generally bond with other mothers and mothers-to-be. All I can say is “More Power to Them”.

Written by mothersspace

May 21, 2009 at 5:34 pm